a planned life

Before we go to sleep, my roomate and I have this little talk about work, love interests, rants, dreams, failures, plans and almost anything we can think of.

One particular night, we had this conversation about plans in life. It made me ponder, whatever happened to my plans?!

Am I still on track? 

Am I lagging behind?

Generally, my plan was really quite simple. After completing my college degree, I want to work in my chosen field, (aviation, airline and tourism), after 4 years of hard work, I will marry the man of my dreams and start my own family.

Quite simple, right?!

Wrong!

Who said life is simple and uncomplicated? 

I had these unexpected turns and was headed in a different direction. 

TIME CHECK!

I'm now 27, my original plan was to get married when I reached 24! wow, I'm 3 years behind. Aside from that, the man of my dreams, my partner in dream-building is gone. But its okay, I have come to terms with it, I know in time I'll have someone I can share my life with.

Fortunately enough, one of my dreams came true, I got my dream job, I've been in the industry for quite sometime and still enjoying the field I have chosen.

The valuable lessons I learned:

Be realistic with the plan.

It's okay to plan ahead but expect some changes , life never runs out of surprises.

Be ready for plan B if incase plan A didn't turn out good. Never lose hope, be positive! Lastly, as Michael Scofield would say, 'just have faith'.

not in this lifetime

As I start a new life after that not-so-good encounter with the one that got away; read here. I was quite hesitant to meet other guys. 

Being a newbie at the workplace (we are talking about International airport now, i came from the domestic airport), I was assigned at the transfer desk. My duty is to man the counter even if we are not expecting any passengers to connect to our flight. It was my first time, and I have no idea what to do if ever a passenger would show up. Anyway, as I was busy counting the minutes before my shift ends, a group of rowdy guys on the other side of the counter were watching a collegiate basketball championship. They were really noisy and a bit annoying. But still, I kept quiet, ignored them and waited for my shift to end.

The following days and weeks, I was again assigned at the transfer desk. Thank God, the rowdy boys are not around! Yahoo! I really can't remember the details but one of the boys turned out to be a friend of my friend, we were introduced . We just said our hi's and hello's if ever we saw each other at the hallway

He became my friend, we ate lunch and go to work together. We enjoy doing things together, he always makes me laugh because of his antics. I find his sense of humor very adorable. Our friendship grew stronger, its almost like were a couple. But I was hesitant to take it to the next level because I believe and felt he was still in love with her ex-girlfriend. My guess was right; I learned that he got back with his girlfriend.

We still continued this friendship of ours. I found out he's getting married. He even read out to me his wedding vows.... *sigh* Later, he told me that if I just stopped him that night he would. He was just waiting for me to say what i feel... *sigh*

Yet we still remained friends, but this time, just friends. 

And we realized we have this common understanding... that we were not meant for each other, not in this lifetime anyway.

the one that got away

Airport, that's where it all began...

I haven't really noticed him at first. And then one fine day on July, he passed by my counter, he asked a lot of questions about the flight. Who was this tall guy with a smile on his face? Oh, he was one of those friendly flight attendants that greet and chat with ground staff like me ('cause other FA's don't do that).

A week after, I've been receiving anonymous sweet text messages. I can't remember the exact message but there was line that says, "why do we close our eyes when we kiss? its because the sweetest things in life are meant to be felt not seen, so asked me why i cant see you right now?". I couldn't figure out who sent it.

I did a lil' research, and found out the tall good looking guy who turns out to be a sweet gentleman was the one sending me those messages. I told him that I already knew who he was, he said that he will introduce himself properly. We went out for dinner; at that first meeting, we hit off right away. Talked for almost 4 hours non-stop, we could go on till forever but we still need to report for work the following day. So, we agreed to meet again the next night, until he was my constant companion. Right after his duty, he'll head straight to my dormitory and we'll have dinner together. He'd show me his 'flying' schedule, ( I call it, 'life plan') to work out our plans in advance. If there's a delayed flight or he was slated on the last flight, I take a nap first and wait for him to show up at my dorm so we could eat together. We would admire the beautiful night sky, our hobby was to gaze on the stars and talked about our dreams and future.

But we never really discussed our situation, we just enjoyed each others company. 

Friends and officemates wondered, what was going on. They kept on asking whats between us but I kept mum about it because I really don't know what to say.23rd of December, I got my schedule; duty on Christmas Eve. According to his 'life plan', he has a flight on that same day. Since both our family's are away from us, we decided to celebrate Christmas Eve together. 24th of December his flight was cancelled so he can still go home to his family to spend Christmas with them, but he opted to spent it with me. He didn't want me to spend Christmas alone . aww... sweetness! :)

New Years Eve falls on my rest day, unfortunately he has a flight. In return, I didn't go home, and spent New Years Eve with him. We welcomed the new year by partying at Rockwell. It was new year, I was full of hope, life and love. 

That's what I think...

And then, something happened... One day, he sent me a text message. "you were always there when i faked the tears, you were always there when i faked the pain, you were always there when i faked my sadness, but why you didn't catch me i didn't faked the fall?" I didn't know how to respond to this kind of message, I asked him what does it mean. But he said,' just shrugged it off'.

I can't take it anymore, I told him a story about a guy a really liked. It was like giving him a clue about us. I said that I really liked a certain guy but he's giving me mixed signals, sometimes he would treat me like a friend, other times he would treat like a girlfriend. And then he responded, 'do i know him?', 'is he close to me?'. Stupid me, I said it was someone he didn't know because I was too embarrassed to admit that HE WAS THE ONE! We never talked about it anymore.

Then, I noticed some change. The nightly visits became weekly, then it became once a month. We still talk whenever we see each other at the airport but that's about it. 

Later, I learned that he moved to a new apartment, a bit far from my place. And I was assigned to a different airline, this means I'll be 

moving to a different airport, no chance to see him anymore. Every once in a while, he'd still send me text messages, and sometimes we would still meet.

Lesson learned:

NO GUTS, NO GLORY!  If I have just voiced out what I really feel for him, then I would not be dwelling on this 'what if' scenarios.

As for me, I think he is the ONE..... The ONE that GOT AWAY!!!

on my wish list

I'm a self confessed photo addict. I'd like to take photos and I'm really fascinated with photography. Capturing the beauty of life, things, nature, etc., And so for my christmas wish, this 400d canon camera, tops my list. I'm starting to save up or maybe I'll just write to santa and ask for this. hehe! Hopefully, next year I'll be busy taking photos.

heypi birthday!

Happy birthday!!!

To those who greeted me on my birthday, Thank you very much!!! I love you all! To my family, Thank you for everything! To my extended family in clark; mga bolangs, Thank you! To my high school friends, Thanks for the greeting, its been 10 years since we parted but still you all remembered, my macro friends, even if we haven't seen each other for quite awhile, Thanks for remembering, my college barkada Thanks for being there always, as in ALWAYS! To all my friends...THANK YOU! THANK YOU! I thank God for this wonderful blessing... having lived a good life for 27 years. My deepest gratitude to all of you!

Here are the pictures from last night's so-called reunion. I really had fun! Till next time. I'll always cherish our friendship.

"It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them."- Ralph Waldo Emerson

"My friends are my estate."- Emily Dickinson

Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together"- Woodrow Wilson

silly grin

My mom woke me up around 10am, I had a phone call. Surprised, I'm not expecting any call during my rest day. I lazily got up from my bed, and grumpily picked up the phone. I was really shocked, hearing a familiar voice on the other end. A long lost close friend called though we just had a brief conversation, I had this silly smile across my face the whole afternoon. Thanks for making me smile... you know who you are.

When I signed in on my YM, another long lost friend was online! wow! This is totally my day! We talked for only half an hour but it was worth it. Feels good to re-connect with old friends.

I think this day is a day of celebrating friendships. I also met my friends from highschool earlier this evening. Though only few have showed up it was really fun reminiscing all our crazy antics, those terror teachers, embarassing and memorable moments. Funny, its been 10 years since we have graduated but some of us can vividly recall those colorful events that had happened. Looking forward to our next reunion.

I know I'll have a goodnight sleep tonight with a silly grin on my face.....