i took a simple assessment test and it changed everything. suddenly, i'm more qualified than my sister. which means i'd be the first one to leave. if everything goes well, i'd be the first one to leave my life, my friends, my dream job, my everything... a first step away from the life i've known...
what does it take to give up your dreams (temporarily, i hope)?
family's future? a father's secret wish to see her mom before its too late? your mother's health issues? once i take that first step, there's no turning back (unless the consul decides otherwise). i know it wont be smooth sailing but i just wish it would be worth it, for everyone's sake.
when everyone is pinning their hopes on you, would you have the heart to let them down?
nothing's final yet. talked to my mom, she said if i don't wanna go, they understand. whatever the outcome they'll respect my decision. but there's a nagging feeling that i might miss this opportunity and at the same time scared to leave everything behind. oh well, i still have a month or two to think things over.
Lord, give me the wisdom to discern your will, strength to carry on. Thy will be done. Amen.