2014

2014 what happened?

It started out so great and then last quarter was a disaster. I don't know how it started awesome and ended with dismay.

I get to travel for most part of the year, Philippines (Jan-Feb), US (October/December) and domestic Canada (Toronto - July; Calgary - September).  A lot of firsts also happened this year but not all those first are good memories. There are lessons taught to me and I have to learn it the hard way.

* when you love, save something for yourself because when they leave you'll be left with nothing

* patterns never lie. everything else changes except this one. watch out and look for the signs. Do not ignore it. do not make excuses for him to comfort yourself. 

* learn to appreciate everything (people, things, moments, efforts). it goes a long way. show someone that they are special no matter how busy you are. say hi, send a text or email to your mom, dad, family and friends. ask them how their day went. appreciate the people that cares for you, thank them for the effort and time they put into it. money can be replaced but the time someone has set aside for you is priceless. 

*stand by your word. back in the days, your word is your honor. as for me, when i say, i'll do something, i'll do my best to fulfill it. 

*humility - its not about who is wrong or who is right but sometimes acknowledging that we are not perfect is good enough and assure them that you'll make it up to them.

Still, 2014 is memorable and I like to thank these people who inspired me and made me hope that the best years of my life are still ahead. Here are my 2014 People of the Year

Capt and Biker- They are 2 amazing individuals. I haven't talked to them much but I saw that they were able to fulfill their lifelong dream. They made me hope that someday I too will be able to do my own adventure of a lifetime. Capt has achieved his dream to be become a pilot, it sure did took a while but he got there. He did it! Nothing is impossible while Biker here is currently on an adventure with the love of his life. Cycling from North America to South America, they've been in the road for several months now. I wish I could do that too. It's still on my bucket list and I know I'll do it someday. 

Cla - Thank for being my voice of reason. Thanks for reminding me to love myself and put myself first before others. You may not know all the story but you're always there to listen to me.

ACT - for always, always being there. You never get tired of cheering for me even if i have not been a good friend to you.

AnnKat - You've always come through whenever I need you. Wherever you are, whenever I send you a message you never bail out on me. Thank you for always being there.

Bogart - never a dull moment with you. You've always been a great travel companion. I wish we could live in the same province together. It would be really awesome. Here's to more lakwatsa days, booze and mischief moments.

Midnight Boys (Rye, Jay, Fran & Dave) - working at nights with you guys are always the best! being a night auditor for the first time, you were all supportive and helpful guiding me at work. and when i'm alone, you've always check on me if I am alright. Through heavy snow, dealing with suspicious persons, calming down drunk guest, you always got my back. Graveyard shifts are the best! lol Thank you all for taking good care of me.

Rachel, Nads and Shei - Though we are miles and miles apart, all of you never forget to say Hi or check how am I doing. You don't know how it means a lot to me. Thank you girls for always remembering me.

The constant persons on my list are my family here and back at home. Words are not enough but from the bottom of my heart, Thank you, Thank you for everything, I would not be here without you all. Looking forward to 2015. 

Cheers! 

must get out

I'm baaaaaaaack! Hello blogosphere, its been awhile.

The past week has been crazy. It was so crazy that I need to go away. I was so physically drained that one night I was crying. I think I was losing my mind. I needed someone to talk to but the person that I wanna talk to was nowhere to be found and was so busy with his own thing. That's when I said to myself, Screw this! I'm going somewhere, I need to leave ASAP . Immediately after, I texted my evil twin Bogart and told her that I'm going to Toronto and I'll stay on their place. I basically, self-invited myself to their house (lol). I traded and gave away some of my shifts then booked a flight to Toronto and flew a day after. It was all spur of the moment. I'm so thankful that Bogart is in Toronto and her family was gracious enough to let me stay in their house. And thanks to Annkat too for being patient with me especially that night that I was about to go insane.

Fast forward to today: I just came from back my trip. I was glad I made that decision. I had to a great time there. Its nice to get away from the all the craziness; to step back a bit, to break away from work routine and give myself a chance to breathe and relax. Still not quite ready to get back to work yet but that's life. Oh well, there's always next time.  I'm looking forward to my next get away.

 

be free!

Parliament House (Toronto)

The Vintage Code( Kensington Market, Toronto)

view across Square One Mall (Mississauga)

Credit Lighthouse

 

 

As the old adage goes, All work and no play makes a dull boy/girl. So peeps, give yourself a break. Find something that will help you relax. Traveling does it for me; and I must say blogging is therapeutic for me too.  Don't take life seriously, no one get out alive anyway.

 

 

Cheers and have good weekend everyone! 

Birthdays and Morbid Thoughts

First of all, I'd like to thank everyone who greeted me on my birthday! To those who forgot about it, it's okay you can still make it up to me by granting my birthday wishlist 2012. nyahaha!

Anyhoo, honestly that day was a drag. I know, I should be happy on that special day but I have a 'tampo' on 1 person. They say, it takes only ONE person to remember and greet you and that would definitely complete your day. But sadly, that ONE person forgot or maybe didn't realize that it was my birthday that very same day that we were talking. Oh well..

On a happy note, I got 1 item crossed out in my birthday wishlist! yay! It's kinda bulky but I love it to bits! To my mom and sister, Thank you! Thank you!

Another thing to celebrate is the birthday of this blog. Gailieslifejourney is now 5 years old! Wow! It all began on a boring night of october 2007 when I chanced upon a blog... I've read it till the wee hours of the morning. It inspired me to start a blog of my own... to write what and how I feel, to share to everyone what I've been through and hope that others can learn from it, get insight and be inpired too. Wishing more years in blogosphere. To my friends and people who visits and reads this blog, a big thank you to all of you from the bottom of my heart. 

***

November, this is it! The big move! 1 more day and I will be leaving... till now, my things are in disarray. Haven't really done some packing yet. As I said to some of my friends, I still can't picture myself living in Canada. Morbid thoughts are cropping up on my mind... thoughts of crash or other untoward incident pops inside my head that I don't see myself somewhere near Canada. Is this how I should really feel?! *sigh* You see I still have time to blog rather than pack my things... everyone's excited for me and I don't feel the same. I don't know... I just don't feel excited about uncertainty, about winter or maybe I'm not just prepared to leave the life I've known...

back to earth

this couple of months had been exhilarating... then it happened, one moment everything changed, all was forgotten. i had been in my own bubble that i completely disregarded what other people can do... i realized that i am not invincible, that everything and everyone is dispensable...

hello reality, i'm back!

why i love traveling...

“Travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living.” - Miriam Beard

Aside from relaxation, travel gives me new perspective. It taught me a lot of things. With my recent trip to Zambales, it gave me realizations that are relevant and useful in my life...

1. you can't prepare for everything, learn to deal with difficulties.

2. think outside the box, use your imagination.

3. laugh at your mistakes. learn from it but don't dwell.

4.“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.”–Mark Twain 

I'm proud to say that the friends I have are the best. Distance and time doesn't matter, even if we haven't seen or talk to each other for years, we still have the same closeness and bond. It seems like there was no time/distance gap; no awkwardness. Everything's the same.

 

5. Lastly, as I stated in this blog enjoy the journey, it's not all about the destination its also about the trip; the people you met, the friends you gain, the adventures you went through and lessons that you learn. 

So keep exploring. Let's go! 

Wait for me

I came across my cousin's page on face book and read about a beautiful poem about waiting. I'd like to share it with you... For those of you who've given up on waiting, you may want to think again. 

It was written by Konstanin Simonov, a Russian war poet. The poem is about a soldier in war asking the love of his life to wait for him.

Wait For Me

Wait for me, and I'll return
Only wait very hard
Wait when you are filled with sorrow...
Wait in the sweltering heat
Wait when the others have stopped waiting,
Forgetting their yesterdays.

Wait even when from afar no letters come to you
Wait even when others are tired of waiting...
And when friends sit around the fire,
Drinking to my memory,
Wait, and do not hurry to drink to my memory too.

Wait. For I'll return,defying every death.
And let those who do not wait say that I was lucky.
They will never understand that in the midst of death,
You with you waiting saved me.
Only you and I know how I survived.
It's because you waited, as no one else did.

~ Konstantin Simonov

a wedding and a funeral

October for the Hype clan is a festive busy month. Nanay, my aunt and 2 cousins plus me celebrate our birthday during this month. This year aside from birthdays, we celebrated my Ate's wedding and mourned for our Aunt's passing. 

*wedding*

Early this year, everyone is excited when my cousin announced that she's getting married. You can feel everyone's excitement. This will be the 1st wedding in our generation. As I said relatives are flying from different places to witness the event. Last night, the highly anticipated affair came. It was a night of celebration, a celebration of friendship, life and love. You can really feel the overflowing happiness of the couple. Everyone enjoyed the night. Btw, its a double treat because its my cousin's birthday too! 

* funeral*

Last week of September, we received a terrible news. My Aunt Jane passed away. The aunt whom I got my first name from, my dad's ate, the doll collector... had left us. Though we maybe world's apart she always kept in touch and never forgets to call or send cards on all occasions. We still can't believe her untimely death. But I guess, God has better plans for her. Maybe she has been through a lot and needed rest. Though we still cannot fathom everything, we trust in the Lord's plan and I know she's happier up there. She was laid to rest last October 5. We may not be there physically to bid her farewell... Aunt Jane, you know you are always in our thoughts and prayers. You are dearly missed. We love you.

*** 

A wedding and a funeral... what does it have in common? Some might say that the two are incomparable  because weddings are joyous celebration while funerals are for mourning. But for me, I see both as a beginning. Death is not an end, its a beginning of new life, a life with our Creator. Weddings are a start of a new life with the one you love. 

Indeed, October is a memorable month for our clan.

reliving the bangkok experience

I went to Bangkok,  December last year for a 3 day trip. this was my second time to visit Thailand's capital. I was so excited to go there then a few weeks before my trip he said his infamous goodbye and everything turned upside down for me. I feel sad and I was hesitant to go Bangkok after that. I was afraid that memories will haunt me when I go there again. I'm worried that if I go to the places where we've been to before I might suddenly remember him and I would burst into tears. 

Tickets and hotel were already confirmed and paid for so there's no backing out. My friend doesn't have any clue on what I've been going through that time. I didn't want to tell her. 

16dec2010 we landed safely at Suvarnabhumi airport, this was not the airport we went to before so everything is a brand new experience.

We stayed at Sukhumvit area, a different district from where we stayed. so far, so good. 

On our second day, we went to MBK. this was the first mall we went to back in 2004. memories came flooding in... oh-oh! we where looking for some tamarind candies for pasalubong. and now, we were doing exactly what we were doing 6 years ago! no, i didn't cry. i just remembered him and  i just felt sad. but I've pushed it aside and continue to do what i need to do. this is a business side trip not a trip down memory lane. and besides, i promised myself I'm moving on. 

the rest of the day went by okay though occasional thoughts about him and the Bangkok tour would come up but still it was a good day!

memories didn't bother me the remainder of the tour. everything became bearable even the heat and exhaustion. my source of comfort is this uber yummy pad thai. It melts all the pain away. :) I ate it for 3 days for lunch and dinner. 

pad thai! *drooling*

when it was time to go home, I looked back... and it wasn't bad after all. It was a test on how will I handle the 'goodbye', I think I came through just fine. :)  

I'm glad I went to Bangkok. all the memories old and new, whomever I'm with is still a happy memory I'll cherish. I'm pretty sure I'll be visiting Bangkok soon. 

coffee break

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Earlier today I accompanied "Jericho" (my twin brother from another mother) in his job interview. He'll be thrilled to know that I called him Jericho,. eewww! wahaha! Anyway, he almost convinced me to apply for the job too but something's holding me back. I have to wait for a few months before I can decide if  I'm going to look for a new job or not. There are alot of applicants today. I pity the other guy because he got rejected due to insufficient years of work experience. The applicants today kinda remind me of myself 5 years ago when I was submitting resumes left and right in hopes of finding a job abroad.

This is a common sight if we go and visit employment agencies. The place is almost always packed. Nowadays, right after college everyone wants to leave. Nobody wants to be left behind but who can blame them they just want a better future for their family. Circumstance led them to chose those path. The government should do something about this problem. Create jobs and give the people a decent pay so noone will be tempted to leave or resort to corruption or other wrongful deeds. Government should do something about this rapid brain. We are rearing a parent less generation. And we all know that families are important in honing a person's well being. I just hope in the future everything will turn out all right.

Back to my story... Unfortunately, my twin brother didn't make it. Half of me feels relieved that he'll be staying with us longer, another half feels sad seeing him lose hope.

Nothing but tall mocha frap could cheer him up. And so to Starbucks we went, sat and drank our fraps without talking. Stayed there for 2 hours or so till he was ready...ready for another challenge life has to offer.

trabaho lang po walang personalan

Noong mga nakaraang buwan usap usapan ang naganap na pagtawag ng menopausal b%@t*^ ng isang Party-list Representative sa isang customer service agent ng isang airline.

Sa totoo lang, kundi man linggo-linggo na nangyayari ito sa trabaho namen ay isang beses sa isang buwan may nagaganap na ganito. Sabi nga ni Senator Miriam Santiago, "I eat death threats for breakfast"! Well, well, well, kame rin!!! Sabay kme mgbreakfast ni Madam Senator eh! wahaha! 

Siguro sadyang meron mga taong di makaintindi o ayaw umintindi. Ginagawa lang namen trabaho namen at sumusunod lang din sa patakaran kumpanya. Gusto rin namen tumulong at mapasaya lahat pero di nman lahat ng gusto nila ay pwedeng masunod. 

Walong taon na rin ko sa larangang ito, marami na ko naranasan. Hindi ko nilalahat pero may mangilan-ngilan na nawala na ata ang kabutihang asal. 

* Mga tao na napalitan lang ang kanilang citizenship kala mo kung sino na kung makapang hamak ng kapwa at parang kinamumuhian ang kanyang lahi. Minsan ang sarap sumagot, kung pwede ko lang silang sagutin na, Teh, di mo maitatwa ang pagiging pinoy mo! Kulay, height at ilong pa lang give away na. 

* Meron din na porke't akala nila mas mataas pinag aralan nila samen pwede na nila kameng maliitin. FYI, nakatapos po kame lahat sa kolehiyo, university grad po kame. 

* Meron din na astang mayayaman na kung makapagdemand ay kala mo nabili ka na nya at pwede ka na nyang gawing alila. Ang sarap sumagot sa kanila ticket lang po nabili nyo hinde po ang pagkatao namen.

 Di ko alam kung matatawa na lng ba kame o maiinis o maloloka sa nararasanan nmen sa counter. Ito yung ilan sa mga narinig ko na nasabi ng mga pasahero samen ng mga ksamahan ko.

(lahat po ng ito ay totoo, at walang exaggeration...)

• 'maitim ang budhi mo! di ka pupunta ng langit! buhay ka pa sinusunog kaluluwa mo!'  ang sabi ng isang lalaki nung sinisingil cia ng excess baggage ng kasama ko. 
• 'you're english is pathetic!' ang sabi ng isang lola (pinoy na 1st world country na ang hawak na passport)  dahil di american accent ang pagsalita ng english ng kasama ko.
• 'magsuntukan na lang tayo sa labas' ang hamon sa kasama ko nang hinanapan nya ng mga proper travel document ang pasahero.
• sinungaling ka! p*+@ng!*# mo! (repeat to fade) ang sinabi saken ng pasahero dahil di ko cia marebook kasi fully booked ang flights. ( dito ko napaiyak dhil sa sama ng loob!) 

Aaminin ko na mga tatlong beses na ko napaiyak dahil sa mga natanggap ko na masasamang salita sa mga pasahero.  Tao lang din naman kame, nasasaktan. Halos lahat na ata klase ng mura natanggap na namen, may F word na ibat-ibang lenguahe pa at dialect, di ba bongga?! May instant lesson sa foreign language.

Sa linya ng aming hanapbuhay kailangan mabilis kame magbago ng mood. Pagkatapos mong makipagtalo sa isang pasahero dapat sa susunod naka ngiti ka na ulet na parang walang nangyaring masama mga ilang minuto pa lang nakakaraan. Kailangan matatag at mapacencia ka, coz everyday is a test; so scream (your lungs out after each flight), leave (all those negative comments behind) and survive (another day)!

Uulitin ko, hindi ko nilalahat may mga kaunti na lang na nalihis ang pag-uugali.

Pagpasensyahan nyo na kame kung medyo hinde perky at friendly dating namen sa inyo. Sa loob ng isang araw ilang daang tao makakasaluha namen, ilang daang ugali, ilang daang personalidad, ilang daang pangangailangan na kailagan ng tugon kaya sana minsan konting pang unawa din hinihingi namen. 

Sa aking pananaw may magandang rin na kinahantungan ang nangyari na pagsasampa ng kaso nung agent dun sa kongresista; kase nabigyan rin ng 'mukha' ang mga kagaya naming passenger service agents na  hahamak. Pero di rin naman ito excuse para  sa mga kapwa ko passenger service agents na magtaray o magsungit sa mga pasahero.

Ika nga nila, that's my 2 cents worth on this matter.

Kaya sa susunod na paglipad nyo, maisip nyo rin sana yung mga nasa likod ng counter. 

Have a nice flight!

random musings

It's Saturday night and I'm here in my room letting my mind wander. What better way to spend the weekend but to put words to my thoughts.

so what's on my mind right now?

***

Mc Donald's is celebrating its 30th anniversary (here in the Philippines) and they're bringing back some of their well-loved TV commercials. I really love this particular tvc, it brings a lot of memories, good and not-so-good memories.

let's watch...

*** 

I've written a letter a few months ago , I wanna post it here just to let it all out from my system. My friend Cla, read it and advised me not to publish it coz its too personal. Upon reading my letter, she understood and felt my wrath, my hurt and my pain. Now, I feel better even if I wasn't able to publish it here, it was good to know that someone can identify with me. Writing helps alleviate the pain. Maybe someday, I'll have the guts to publish it here. I'm okay but still there are moments that memories kept creeping back. I try to shrugged it off.

***

I love reading The Professional Heckler's blog. His posts are witty and are fun to read. There are  times (while reading heckler's blog) my colleagues would catch me smirking and trying to suppress laughter to myself . They must've thought I'm a lunatic. Visit his blog and I'm sure you'll be laughing in no time. Right now, I'm waiting for Professional Heckler's game on twitter (the game is every Saturday night, 930-1100). Last week I joined his game for the first time and my entry got selected and was included in his blog. Beginner's luck. wahaha! It was so fun. His question was, what would you answer if Pnoy asked you to marry him. There are alot of hilarious replies, read here. My reply got picked last minute, check out #78, that's me. :)

update: professional heckler's game is over. and my entry this week wasn't selected. oh well, better luck next time.

***

I have to let this out guys, sorry. I've been keeping it to myself for the past weeks, I just have to let it out. Whoever is reading this and thinks that he/she is the subject of this post, all I can say is bato bato sa langit, ang tamaan ay pangit! wahaha! :P

To whom it may concern, I could be mean if I want to but I chose not to stoop down. I know a lot about you, and I can reveal everything I know that could ruin your life. You have a lot to lose and I don't know if you could live with that. I wonder how well you sleep at night? Peace of mind is hard to get these days. I pray that you come to your senses and change.

Wow, that feels good! I sounded like a b*tch though. Sorry, but I feel the need to let it out. 

***

Today, TJ is 1 week old! I love naming my gadgets, it kinda makes it personal.  Meet Team Apple, we are called Team Apple because Josh and Renel bought Ipad and I was tempted to buy one too, but I think I need a laptop not Ipad. Hence, I bought a macbook.  The first few days, I was having difficulty with TJ. Mac's OS is different from Windows, and I've been using Windows ever since I learned how to operate a computer so I need to adjust. As of now, I'm getting the hang of it and it's not that hard, in fact, the function keys are easier, but that's just me , I guess. I'm a Mac convert now.

TJ

newest member of Team Apple * I can't find an updated picture*

the crazy ones, love this ad too!

***

I read a blog entry of Paolo Coehlo end of last year. At that time, I was going through a rough patch and upon reading this,  I was enlightened. 2011 is my year of unlearning things/habits. To quote what Paolo Coehlo eloquently wrote, "Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need."

finishing strong

A new year marks the beginning, the beginning of everything. a fresh start, a clean slate, new promises, new dreams, a chance to correct whats wrong or to start over; that's why resolutions are the 'in' thing during new year. 

For 2011, I have only 1 resolution and that is to finish strong. The zeal and passion that got me started (in doing what I will do) this year will still be there till I achieve my goal. 

It is my prayer to be able to finish strong. I may falter along the way but I pray that HE will give me strenght to overcome obstacles, wisdom to discern the right path, may HE guide me all my days. 

So, here's to a new year! Cheers! Be the best you can be! :) God Bless us all!

25 songs

Once you have been tagged, you are supposed to write down 25 songs you cannot live without. You know, the ones you can listen to over and over and never get tired of. They don't have to be in any particular order. These are the songs that make you laugh, cry, think of an old friend, whatever the reason. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

1. Stolen - Dashboard Confessional
(You are the best one, of the best ones....you have stolen my heart.)

2. Better Together - Jack Johnson
(it's not always easy and love can be deceiving, i tell you one thing, its always better when we're together)

3.Sunrays and Saturdays - Vertical Horizon
(We'll get to know ourselves again,And we'll heal our hearts,It's not that we're bad together,We're just better off apart)

4. My Happy Ending - Avril Lavigne
(You were everything, everything that I wanted.)

5. Yeah Whatever - Splender
(Damned if you do,F***ed if you don't. Yeah, whatever makes you happy
Yeah, whatever makes it beautiful.)

6. It Ends Tonight - All American Rejects
(The walls start breathing,My minds unweaving,Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.)

7. I Try - Macy Gray
(My world crumbles when you are not near .)

8. Spolarium _ Eraserheads
(At ngayon Di pa rin alam,Kung ba't tayo nandito,Puwede bang itigil muna,Ang pag-ikot ng mundo.)

9. Migraine - Moonstar 88
(Nahihilo, nalilito, Asan ba ako? Andiyan pa ba sa iyo?)

10. Lightyears _ Eraserheads
(Doesn't really matter where you are,It always seems so far.)

11. Mad Season - Matchbox20
(At times I do believe I am strong.)

12. Daydreamer - Vibrant Days
(Stare at the bright side.)

13. Eastpack - Vibrant Days
(if i change my mind...i'll close my eyes and be with you.)

14.Sundo - Imago
(Kay tagal kong sinusuyod ang buong mundo para hanapin ka.)

15. Everything - Michael Buble
(And in this crazy life, and through these crazy times...it's you, you make me sing.)

16. Who Am I - Casting Crowns
(Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth,Would care to know my name,Would care to feel my hurt.)

17. Don't Change - Musiq Soulchild
(See I'll love you when your hair turns gray, I'll still want you if you gain a little weight,The way I feel for you will always be the same.)

18. Breathe - Michelle Branch
(Everything is alright,If I just breathe.)

19. I can wait forever - Simple Plan
(When you're sitting there it's hard for me to look away.)

20. When I'm gone - Simple Plan
(Life is what happens while you're busy making excuses.)

21. I think God can explain - Splender
(It's alright, I'm ok,I think God can explain.)

22. Follow you down - Gin Blossoms
(I know were headed somewhere, I can see how far weve come.)

23. You belong with me - Taylor Swift
(Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find that what you’re looking for has been here the whole time.)

24. First Time - Lifehouse
(We're crashing into the unknown,We're lost in this,But it feels like home.)

25. Save you - Simple Plan
(Tell me you won't give up,cause I'll be waiting if you fall you know,i'll be there for you.)

*No need to put part of the lyrics, arte ko lang yan. My songs are all about addiction to love, getting hurt and moving on. A roller coaster of emotions. Sarap pakinggan ng paulit-ulit-ulit-ulit while jogging/walking around acad oval sa UP. I mostly love number 1, pang happy ending.

-joyce

**ako rin, makiki arte gaya ni joyce kaya ako naglagay ng lyrics. hehe! these are the songs that i listen to all the time, bago matulog, pagkagising, kunbaga paos na sila sa kakakanta dahil paulit paulit kong pinapatugtog. its all about heartaches, letting go, hope and most of all, love.

Game Over

3 December 2010, a date to remember.

I never imagined that it would be a prelude to a goodbye. It started so right (that's what I thought). I had a nice wake up call, we talked for about an  hour or so, then he promised to call me again at night. He did and we had a great time laughing and teasing each other. I never had an inkling that my night would end differently.

He said he has found someone else! I don't know what to feel. As if someone splashed cold water onto my face making me numb. Everything became hazy.

A few months back I noticed that he was kinda cold but I shrugged it off coz I don't wanna impose or seem too clingy. I was dying to ask him but held back and let things be as I don't have 'right' to question him.

6 long years or so that's how long this almost not quite game has been going on. In fairness to him he didn't tell me to wait but I can't help but hope. somewhere somehow I was hoping everything will be set right and I'll have my happy ending.

I was wrong and I was wishing for the wrong things. Lesson learned (the hard and painful way) a relationship based on lies, pretension and deceit will never lasts. Sure, it may take 5 to 10 more years but its never bound to be forever, it will come to an end.

I guess this is Game Over.

I'd never want to see you unhappy

I thought you'd want the same for me

So you're gone and i'm haunted

And i bet you are just fine

Did i make it that easy to walk

Right in and out of my life?

lines

As a guest service staff, I'm assigned at the check-in counter, and everyday I have to face these so called lines.

Day by day, I see guests lining in front of me (not to take my picture or autograph, silly!). Some looked happy and excited, others looked tired and weary, while some are impatiently staring back at me as if saying, 'hurry up!'.

As I take my seat at the counter I prepare for my new lessons. You see, as a guest service agent, I compare myself to a student, ready to learn what the check-in counter has to offer.

One by one as I process each guests, chatting, interacting and dealing with them taught me about different life lessons on:

empathy:  on how to identify with the guests, on what they go through.

on being strong: strong meaning being able to face guests who woke up at the "wrong side of the bed". sometimes its a bit intimidating especially if the guest starts screaming at me. at times, I want to give up, cry and pray that the floor would swallow me up, but I know whatever happens, the world would not stop for me and I have to face the guest. this is where empathy and patience comes in, and my being 'strong' develops. its like life is teaching me that whatever comes my way good or bad, I have to take it and make something good out of it.

sacrifice: some guests leave their families behind to work overseas to give their love ones back home a good future.

passion: there are some guests that are really passionate about their dreams and goals in life that through talking to them they have passed on to me their zeal and enthusiasm to do better and strive harder.

and the most important lesson of all is...

love: families travelling together to visit grandpa, grandma, aunts and uncles, nieces and cousin, closing the gaps and rekindling family ties which reminds me that LOVE CONQUERS ALL even DISTANCE!

Those are some the lessons the LINES at the check-in counter taught me. Hoping for more Life Lessons to learn from this unconventional classroom called CHECK-IN COUNTER.

yeooouch!

i hurt myself (unintentionally). scraped my foot on the screen door's bottom edge. it hurts like hell! i was laughing and crying at the same time; laughing at my own stupidity and crying because it hurts real bad. i was crying for at least 10minutes.

after awhile the pain subsides, it's still there but it became bearable.

it got me thinking, life's like that, sometimes, we thought pain is the end of our lives but eventually it will subside and becomes bearable, until we cannot feel the pain anymore.

as they say, time heals all wounds.

back (b)log and blast from the past

I've check my drafts folder here in blogger and saw more than 5 entries that are waiting to be published. Some of the entries are about  3 more places I've visited, books that made me cry and  many more.

meanwhile, as i sort my entries on the draft folder. here's some of my favorites posts.

28 Realizations - lessons I've learned for the last 28 years.
The Myth - an urban legend among our barkada.
Updates - I listed my top 10 things to do, here are some of the things I've accomplished.
A look back - my reflections for 2008
Battle of the Brainless - laughtrip after work; my clueless colleague always crack us up (unintentionally).
A planned life - I thought I can mapped out my life.
RR Herrera - My struggles with the letter R.
I can - a father's unending love for his child, very inspiring.
Hell Week - one of the  most difficult time of my life.
Forever grateful - Thanking HIM for everything HE had done for me.
The one that got away - a lesson learned the hard way; as the love guru said, say what you feel.
Selfish me - letting go.
Single - of being single.

the last 3 posts are about matters of he heart or should I say matters of the hurt. hehe!

Hope you'll enjoy reading the posts.

Cheers!

PSP boy

i often see him at the hallway, infront of our office sitting by the couch playing with his PSP. he works for a 'rival' airline which holds office next to ours. i do not know his name but when i see him we talk; just small talk, or sometimes he just smile or nod at me.

then, yesterday, i heard an awful news. he had been hit by a truck and died on the spot. a young man who barely reached his mid 20's whose life was cut short.

its just a few minutes after he left the airport, he was just within the vicinity...on his way home... to his wife... his family. it was supposed to be another ordinary day for him... then, suddenly he was gone.

i may not know him that well but his untimely demise left a huge impact on me. it's a reminder of sort, it made me reflect on my life.

how did i lived my life?
did i fulfill my duties well? duty as a daughter? an employee? a citizen? and a Christian?
did i tell my loved ones how i care and value them?

a lot of things came crashing to my mind.

how many did i ignore my parents warning against going home late. i didn't listen to their warning thinking that im old enough to take care and defend myself. that im invincible.

i always think my parents will always be here for a long time, so there's no need for me to express my appreciation on even the simplest things that they've done for me.

i have alot of goals and dreams i haven't come to realize yet. i strive even harder to achieve this so when i leave this world soon, i can say to HIM that i have done my part well.

life's too short, i knew it, but never really give much thought about it until PSP boy's accident reminded me.

seize the day, appreciate everyone, give love, share what you have, do your best you'll never know it may be your last.

and for you, PSP boy, i do hope you would have your justice. wherever you are, i know you'll be in a happier place. thank you for reminding me to VALUE what i have.

i CAN

warning: tear jerker

my sister let me watched these amazing video.

This is a story between a father and a son, their dedication and love for each other. There are 2 things that struck me...

first, was what the dad had said...'Rick had lived his life to the fullest than most of us who are not handicapped'. its a reminder for me that i should live my life by giving my best shot in everything i do. that i should not dwell on my miseries and obstacles, i should surpass and conquer them. there many life experiences to make, i will stop making excuses and go on, keep living... living my life to the fullest!

second was, i am not alone! though i may feel abandoned at times, God is always there. He is the One pushing us to greater heights. When we think we cannot handle the pain, call unto Him, surrender it all and let Him be.

just when you think, you're about to give up....think of Team Hoyt and the challenges that they overcome, think of our Father above. have a blessed day!

i can do all things through HIM who strengthens me. - philippians 4:13

28 realizations

28 years on earth, here are some of my realizations...

1. do what you enjoy and enjoy what you do.

2. do not 'live' in your comfort zone rather LEAVE your comfort zone and take risks!

3. the only way to move forward to leave the past behind.

4. you'll never know what you have till it's gone... i learned this the hard way

5. don't pass up the chance to rediscover one's self, learn something new about you everyday.

6. i think i've found my soulmate but finding your soulmate doesn't mean you'll end up together.

7. i learn to let go of the person who loved me dearly because he doesn't deserve me... he deserved someone better... he got less for what he bargained for...

8. i should always watch my back coz there are alot of creeps around

9. i've been called bitch and snake and i'll take that as a compliment coz i know myself better than anyone else!

10. sometimes its better to do things spontaneously... like date someone you just met

11. first love doesn't mean it'll be your last

12. a simple compliment could brighten my day

13. i'm never too old to try and learn something

14. say what you feel before it's too late

15. some things don't go as planned... prepare for plan B and detours

16. if you don't harness your talent... eventually it'll be gone

17. i can't please everybody, people have different opinions about everything

18. when i was young, i want to grow up fast. when September comes, i count the days 'till 24th of October so i can be a year older, now that i'm a grown up (that's what i think, wehehe!), i want the days to be in slow motion...

19. i have a twin sister (we are the evil twins) but we're not related. when were together we cause havoc and laughter.

20. i create my own destiny, i am responsible for my own actions, i am the only one to blame.

21. as they say, life's a journey. i try to enjoy it even if its a bumpy ride.

22. a smile can break the ice and can start a new friendship, i even got a free chocolate from someone just by smiling.

23. hope makes me hold on to something and faith makes me hold it even tighter.

24. an ordinary moment with "him" becomes extraordinary even if its just eating burgers, or a crazy ride home or just hanging out and laughing your assess off at a silly story.

25. i'd rather invest in the 'intangibles' than those expensive new gadgets nothing compares to the excitement and exhilaration in visiting new places, meeting new people and learning new culture.

26. the world will not stop for me when i'm in pain, it will not help me get up when i stumble. life goes on with or without me. i need to stand up, pick up the pieces, be brave, gear up, put my game face on and be ready for the next challenge.

27. my greatest enemy is MYSELF and my greatest ally is GOD. the greatest battle takes place inside one's self and the greatest victory is surrendering it up all to HIM!

28. it's really hard to let go of the person you don't even have... coz you don't know where it all began and where will it end.